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How to deal with your divorce at work

Mar 25

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Going through a divorce impacts every aspect of a person’s life including their jobs. While everyone is different in that some people become workaholics during a divorce, most do not. Between court dates, meeting with your lawyer and other divorce related commitments, missing time from work becomes a reality for most people. However, eventually you are going to be back in the office. Navigating the complex emotions you are feeling while trying to get your work done can be incredibly tough. Certain things you do can help you better cope with the process.

Consider telling your coworkers

You certainly do not need to tell your entire office about your divorce. However, if you have any coworkers you are close to, you may want to tell them what is going on. Not only can they lend a sympathetic ear, but it also clues them in if your behavior seems off, or if you need to leave early.

Create boundaries for yourself and your soon-to-be ex

Getting an email or text message from your former partner in the middle of a workday can be upsetting. If your soon-to-be ex messaging you while you are at work, it is okay to tell him or her that is no longer appropriate and to create new personal boundaries for communications that did not exist while you were married. This may even help to create a positive new communication dynamic for other aspects of your life such as custody.

Go easy on yourself

Even though you are trying to focus on your work, do not get upset with yourself if you mind wanders, and you think about ongoing legal issues. Most psychologists would say that experiencing a divorce is traumatic even if you and your former partner are still on good terms. It is inevitable that you may lose focus, and you may even feel emotional, sometimes without warning. These are all normal feelings for someone going through a divorce. If you find yourself being less productive than normal, try not to beat yourself up for it. You are already dealing with a lot.

Think about speaking to a therapist

Many people going through a divorce struggle with feelings of depression. If you find yourself unable to perform many of the tasks you usually do or are overwhelmed by feelings of sadness, you may want to consider seeking out a counselor. A therapist is a neutral third party trained to treat people struggling with depression. Unlike your mother or your best friend, a therapist does not have an opinion about what is best for you. They just want you to be happy and healthy, however that looks. Sometimes having an outside perspective on your situation can be refreshing.

Going into work may seem difficult during a divorce. However, if you use these strategies, you may find coping with the workday much easier.